SEATTLE (AP) — A teacher who became notorious in the 1990s for having an affair with a sixth-grader is hosting a “Hot for Teacher” night at a Seattle bar — along with the former student, now her husband. Bar owner Mike Morris says Mary Kay Letourneau has served her sentence and it’s OK for the couple to have some fun.

I have always said you need to capitalize on the gifts god has given you. If you are gifted with the skills and body you should be an athlete. If you have the gift of gab you should be in sales or radio. If you are good at lieing you should be a politician or me.

But these two were blessed with the gift of white trash and they are taking it to the bank.

(CBS) Ask most sexually active people today about the pullout method as an effective form of contraception and you’re likely to induce eye-rolling and snickers.

Nope not at all because if she swallows everything is perfectly fine.

My favorite part of this article has to be “If the male partner withdraws before ejaculation every time a couple has vaginal intercourse, about 4% of couples will become pregnant over the course of a year. However, more realistic estimates of typical use indicate that about 18% of couples will become pregnant in a year using withdrawal. These rates are only slightly less effective than male condoms, which have perfect- and typical-use failure rates of 2% and 17%, respectively.”

Because that means I’m not just reduceing my carbon footprint anymore by going in raw.

So I posted on the Facebook group “What do you want to read?” and got one response.

Yuppie Junk,

I understand you have a frat background but can you please tell frat guys to stop playing “I’m on a boat”?

Thanks,

Land Lover

Well Land Lover you bring up a good point…

Dear Frat Guys,

Seriously let’s give it a rest with playing “I’m on a boat”. I get it that it’s a funny song and I even sent it in to ForSureNot.com before Yuppie Junk was started but it’s been 2 months. Yea, the song would have been more fitting if it came out in the spring or summer but it would also be more fitting to play if you were on a boat.

If you are blasting this song while not on a boat but actually on a porch you might as well be on a dick. For the same mediocre girl you are going to strike out with by screaming the words to this song, you could instead not make your father ashamed of you and give that girl some drugs and actually fuck her.

Respectfully,

Yuppie Junk

Got something else you want written about? Send it to yuppiejunk@gmail.com.

Frat Fact: Being cave brothers, is a frat life work hazard.

When entering frat life you must understand that not only are you not gonna find a place where no man has gone before but you are also probably not going to find a place one of your brothers hasn’t gone before. The girls that hang out around these places will basically sit on anything that points or wiggles so you have to accept that this girl is far from pure.

Later in life you are going to want to remember this for when you are looking to propose to the love or your life. Simply ask her “Did you hang out around frat houses during college?” If the answer is yes it means she went slumming through dick as and undergrad. If the answer is no, she is lying and cant be trusted.

Watch out for hoes that want to be housewives cause your future child’s mother has some cave brothers.

These are the people who read this site…

STD: I got an idea for yuppie junk

Maybe u can do something with it
http://twocan.com/

it’s a dating service for ppl with herpes

Yuppie Junk: haha

Why would you come across that?

STD: I saw an ad for it

Yuppie Junk: where?

STD: it was a google add online

The ones that jump up

Yuppie Junk: if that’s the story you wanna go with its ok

STD: haha

It said like hook up with herpes

And I was like oh sweet they found a cure so i could be a little more reckless

But its actually just a dating service for the real bottom of the barrel

Yuppie Junk: so u were heartbroken?

STD: i just pissed that there isn’t a cure yet

Yuppie Junk: well at least when you get it (and you will) you know where to meet chicks

STD: yea I know at least there’s and upside to herpes,

an exclusive dating site

Yuppie Junk: haha