Oslo- A Norwegian church used lemon-flavored cola instead of water in a baptism ceremony after its taps were temporarily turned off because of freezing temperatures, daily Vaart Land said Tuesday.

Are you kidding me with shit??? How serious can you be about your religion using cola?

This is the worst thing since I walked in on a dude eating melted American cheese on potato chips because there was nothing to make nachos with in the kitchen. These people just used white trash holy water like my man’s white trash nachos.

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So this cougar who works for my company just sent me this link.

The fact that there is an event called “Cougars and Cubs Speed Dating” makes me proud to be an American. Only in this beautiful country could a young professional like me attend an event with the hopes of bagging myself an old bag with the hopes that she will buy me something nice and be open to anal.

I don’t care what Bruce Willis thinks about wrinkly labia I’m going and who is coming with me?

If a girl is at a frat house after 2am she is just asking for it.

Now I am an old school respectable guy and that’s why I understand that when a girl says “NO” she means “You are gonna need to give me some weed to finger me on your top bunk in front of this room of people.” However thanks to my fraternity experience I know that the rules change after 2am.

I mean let’s be honest here, there is nothing a girl has to gain by being at a frat house after 2am besides 50 pounds over the next 9 months or an irritation for 2 weeks, every 2 months for the rest of your life. Thus, she must be there for one reason and that is a deep dicking cause no one is serving breakfast in bed.

That is except for the 3rd Sunday of every month when my fraternity would offer all the ladies who spent the night a beautiful Bukkake Brunch Buffet.

Sometimes you just gotta put it out there…

Donkey Kong: yo text that bartender “BJ?”
Bj and the Bear: just did
Donkey Kong: afternoon delight
Bj and the Bear: well we just met

ill text HJ
Donkey Kong: DK

doorknob
Bj and the Bear: ?
Donkey Kong: when your making out with a girl face to face and she j u off like she is opening a door

classic high school move